Well well well, YES, a question that really make you think, right? Before I deep dive into this tricky topic, let me start off by saying, this is 100% my thoughts and my opinions. Note, this may not be your thoughts, opinion or even feelings. Because, not everyone feel the same. BUT, there are there are some Sistahs out there, trust me, that thinks just like me and if this touches you… please drop me a comment. Now, disappointments. There are times we think our disappointments are caused by other people, the situation or the environment around us. However, have you ever stopped and ask yourself, am I causing my own disappointments. For a long time my answer would have been….ummm no ma’am. But, as I have bloomed into the woman I am today, and I must say, I love this new blossom of me, I have learned, the disappointments I endure in life was because I was too loyal. I am sure you are scratching your head and I was too until I had that ahhh haaa moment. When you are loyal to something or someone and the loyalty is not return or manifest in the way we think it should be, there comes the disappointments. This was such a hard lesson for me, and Sistahs, I still struggle daily. But, when I stop being loyal to something or someone that did not deserve my loyalty, my disappointments lessen. That right! I found I wasn’t disappointed as much. Now, don’t take me wrong, I am not saying not to be loyal, I am simply saying, make sure you have a deep understanding your loyalty will not always be returned. Being loyal is a commendable trait, but it’s important to strike a balance between loyalty and protecting yourself from potential disappointments. Here are my top 5 strategies I have found has helped me avoid disappointments when I have been too loyal!
- Understanding Expectations: Understand that people are imperfect, and situations can change. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on others or assume they will always reciprocate your loyalty in the same way. That’s real! Girl, some people are just “not loyal”.
- Set you Boundaries: How many times have we heard, if you don’t have boundaries, you will allow people to just weigh you down! Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships, career, and in life period . Communicate your needs and expectations clearly, and be willing to say no when necessary. This will help prevent others from taking advantage of your loyalty.
- Actions speaks louder than words: IMPORTANT, I cannot stress this point enough! Even for myself. This is like a morning chant for me. Pay attention to people’s actions rather than just their words. Consistently reliable actions demonstrate true loyalty and commitment, while empty promises may lead to disappointment.
- Evaluate Loyalty: Assess whether your loyalty is reciprocated and valued by others. If you find yourself constantly giving without receiving, it might be time to reevaluate those relationships, careers and life choices in general.
- Last, and most important! Focus on Personal Growth: Channel your energy into personal growth and self-improvement. Increasing your self-worth will lessen the impact of disappointments caused by external factors. Facts!
Sistahs! Remember life is short and to short to allow others to take your key and drive you crazy! Keep your keys! Until next time.
Natasha
6 responses to “Do We Cause Our Own Disappointments?”
Thanks Sistah for another great message. With expectations, professionally I’m guilty of sometimes placing my expectations of others too high. I set them where “I” feel their potential can be achieved. The problem is that my expectations of them may not be their own personal goal or they lack the drive I feel should naturally exist. I’m therefore learning to lean more towards your step number three, which is to let their actions speak for how I should set my expectations to help us achieve mutual success. In personal relationships, I agree that focusing on my self growth and having boundaries have decreased the number of times I’ve been disappointed by others not meeting my expectations related to the time, resources and energy they are willing to invest in me. At times that has meant walking away from relationships to protect my personal and mental health. I’m still a work in progress.
Sistah! First let me say thank you so much for your support! Self growth is so important. It’s just like education, you never stop learning and a person never stops growing. Sistah, keep growing and keep shining. We all are a work in progress! Until next time….Natasha
Thanks for starting the discussion on this topic. I do believe we cause many of our own disappointments simply by not believing what we are shown….Maya Angelou said, “…when people show you who they are, believe them…” I think we often want to believe and hope for the best even when we are shown something different and then we are disappointed when things don’t work out how we want….if we start to believe what we are shown and adjust our expectations based upon what we are shown we can save ourselves a lot of hurt and disappointment
Thank you Sistah! You hit it on the nail with “Maya Angelou”! The problem for me though, when people shows me who they are, oh I most defiantly believe them, but I don’t know how to stop believing in them to be a better person one day. I write before you a person who is not perfect, I am 100 % work in progress and l love it because it tells my journey is not over! More of me to come Sistah! Until next time…
It is time for we as brown sisters to believe and trust the process in our growth and stop believing the midst of other people put into our heads my statement for today change your mindset in order for your life to be successful!!! Protect your mind put a boundary around your life circle remember God made us and gave us many gifts but we have to use them correctly powerful message today thank you sis. 🙏🙏😘😘❤️
Hi Sistah! Welcome to my blog. I am so happy to see you enjoyed my post and could relate. Yes, I agree. For years, we allowed the process to own us instead of us owning the process. Now it’s time to let go of the things that are not allowing your process to grow and only fill your days with disappointments. Until next my Sistah!